Helping a Dead Person to Finish Dying
To be undertaken by one person alone or between two people.
This exercise may be undertaken from time to time, without any prior purpose, making ourselves available to the field, in order to help a dead person to finish dying, accepting that we do not know the dead person’s identity or the family system she belongs to.
It is also very useful to do this exercise when we feel worse.
Represent yourself, aware that in front of you, some metres away, there is a dead person who is not well.
Take your place and the place of that dead person alternating.
When you are representing yourself, the first thing is to lose your fear and to feel a deep respect for that dead person. Look at the dead person’s eyes, until you can say to him “I take you into my heart” and you can bow your head before him.
Then say to him “I will do anything you need.”
You become aware that what the dead person needs is your love, to be looked at, your contact. He needs you to touch him with your hand, you to hug him, to help him to lie down and close his eyes.
What matters is to never push the dead person too far, to never rush him.
You can represent the dead person every now and then to find out if what you feel reaches him (if it doesn’t reach him, this is because you have not been sincere), or to find out what he needs from you.
Sometimes he will need you to tell him “you are dead. Everything is over for you: the pain, the fear, the guilt, the cruelty, everything is over. Now you can rest in peace.”
When he closes his eyes, stop looking at him, connect with something greater, and then stand up and go towards life.
To continue crying for the dead person, to continue hugging him when he is already at peace, is an intrusion.