Finding Our Place

If you are doing this exercise alone:

Imagine that you are standing in front of your parents. Your father is on your mother’s right. You may place a sheet of paper on the floor for each one of them.

Now, put yourself in your mother’s place, and then in your father’s, to feel how do they see you. If one of them feels you as an equal or bigger, this means that you are not in your place.

In this case, place another sheet, close to your parents, for the excluded person that you are replacing. Stand on it to be able to feel.

Then return to your own representation, connect with that excluded person by looking at her, and say to her “I am taking your place, but I am only his/her daughter.” Wait a little.

Once you have done this, stand again on your mother and father’s place to find out how they perceive you. If one of them still feels you as an equal or bigger, place a new sheet for another excluded person whom you are also replacing, and do and say the same as before.

Repeat this until your parents can perceive that you are smaller than them. You will see that there are no obstacles to hug your parents anymore.

Sometimes your parents see you smaller, but one of them, or you, is looking at the floor. In this case, place a sheet also for this excluded or forgotten dead person and say to her “I am taking your place, but you are dead and I am alive.” If this is not enough, this means that there are more dead people: add another sheet and say the same to that other dead person.

If you are several people: four people.

You represent yourself. Someone represents your mother, and another person represents your father. And the fourth person is a “wildcard” that will represent each excluded person that you are replacing.

Stand in front of your parents; the “wildcard” stays aside.