Cutting the Cord

  1. INDENTIFYING THE OTHER

Think of someone you feel you depend on or with whom you feel excessively involved. It may also be a situation, a thing, a job, a place that now belongs to the past but you cannot withdraw from. Imagine you have this or the person standing in front of you. Now come closer to the person and walk around her once or twice, watching her closely. Experience the sensations you feel when you are close to her. Become aware of all your feelings, especially those that you feel are overwhelming.

 

  1. MATERIALISATION OF THE LINK

Back up a little from that person and stand in front of her again, at about two metres from her approximately. Now make your feelings of being connected to her materialise in the form of a physical link between you both. It could be a rope, a ribbon, a light beam or anything else linking both of your bodies. Pay close attention to that tie, where does it emerge from, how thick it is, how hard, what is its general shape. Assess how would your relationship be without that tie, how would you feel without it, but don’t get rid of it yet.

 

  1. POSITIVE INTENTION AND BENEFITS OF THE RELATIONSHIP

Ask yourself about the things from that person that satisfy you, about the values that make her special to you, and the benefits her support brings you.

 

  1. CREATING THE EVOLVED SELF, IDEAL SELF OR FUTURE SELF

Now, get about one metre closer to the other, and create on your right a three-dimensional image of yourself that is as sharp as possible. Imagine yourself just as you would be if you had evolved beyond your current self-actualisation level, up to the level you know you can reach.

That other you has already solved the issues you are dealing with now. It is nourishing and protecting, and it can give you what you really need.

Besides those values, add to that image of yourself those qualities you appreciate the most in the other person. Feel how your evolved Self would be if you had, besides the values you already have, those values that are so evident in the other person.

 

  1. TURNING THE CONNECTION WITH THE OTHER INTO A CONNECTION WITH YOURSELF

 

  • Now turn your attention again to the person who was in front of you. Imagine a cutting tool (a knife, some scissors…) and, when I tell you, not before, cut with a single stroke the material link you created.
  • Afterwards, notice how the part of that link that belongs to the other person goes into her body until no trace of it is left.
  • Then, turn towards the image of your evolved Self and connect with it through your remaining part of the link, creating a union like the one you had with the other person.

Are you ready? Take the cutting tool and cut the link.

Go through the previous instructions, step by step, making sure that you follow them accurately.

Now get gradually closer to the image of your evolved Self, letting the link between you become shorter, getting you both closer to each other, until you become fused with that image. Enjoy, during the approaching process and your fusion, the achievement of depending on someone you can fully trust: yourself. Receive from yourself what you wanted from the other person, and the meaning of those values and qualities of your own evolved being.

 

  1. NOW LOOK AT THE OTHER PERSON

and notice that you both are now in a better position to have a relationship in which both of you will have a greater sense of your own self. Notice that this new perspective even allows you to be much more present and free from each other.

Imagine a specific situation that you are going to experience with that person, and evaluate the changes.