The Movement of the Spirit (The New Freedom, Part 1)
October 2010
Now I am standing and I am another Bert Hellinger.
The one you know from previous years, I don’t know him anymore. Now I move in another field and now I will explain what this means. Before, many people came to this kind of courses because they wanted to solve something for themselves and their expectations were focused on me, as the one who can help them. And these expectations directed towards me made me sick.
Why? Because I was meddling in their destiny.
And I experienced in myself how dangerous this help can be.
Those greater forces, which act through me and to the same degree act in each of you, do not stand it when we take their place. And yet it seemed to us that we were doing something good.
From the very beginning of the family constellations we could see that the representatives feel like the person they are representing. It’s amazing that something like that can happen. And then we followed it and called it a ‘therapeutic method’. Can there be anything crazier?
Here, from the very beginning, a totally different force was manifested in those who wanted to help and also in the representatives. This force took them into the service. And then we pushed them, the representatives, this way and that way as if this was going to help in some way; as if we were allowed to interfere. And those who were leading a constellation, myself included, would say: ‘Tell me, what is your problem, what do you bring?’ And someone would say it and we would take it seriously and say: ‘Come on, let’s constellate it’. But those forces wanted what was good for us. Those family constellations ended. It becomes more and more dangerous when we still try to do it this way and we also see the result of family constellations of this kind.
I say this openly and I am not going to protect anyone. These family constellations are over.
What takes their place now?
Can you still listen to me?, is it interesting?
So, I simply take it seriously that each representative is guided by something different. And that I am guided by something totally different and that I can only move forward to the extent that I experience the same as the one who is guided. And when that’s over, I’m also over. I finish.
I call this new way of family constellations ‘following the spirit’. We have never thought of it in this way. We have not reflected upon the fact that the representatives are not themselves, but are taken over by another force and directed by it. And when a representative wants to escape from it because he has some goal of their own, the whole thing collapses. The representative who behaves as if he has to help has to be changed by another one immediately. Because otherwise nothing can work. And the same applies to me. When I work I am an intermediary and something else takes me into service and disciplines me. Then something totally different than what a person can imagine or desire takes place. Also this person is taken into service and disciplined.
Well, now it is time for us to look at how this works. This way of acting is indispensable for success. It´s not possible that nothing happens, because everything is in tune with a greater force. Are you ready for this?
Good. This course is called: The orders of success in personal and professional life. And this is what it’s all about. I’m simply going to start with someone and I’m not going to be the one to choose. Hands up whoever wants to work with me.
(A woman)
Hellinger: As you can see, I don’t look at her. That would divert my attention from the attunement to another movement. But I am in tune with her. With her as much as with her mother and her destiny. Now I will wait until I am moved by something inside, by a different force. And I surrender myself totally to this force.
Hellinger to the audience: And how do you feel about this? I know nothing and yet everything. Imagine that one of you goes up to her and starts asking her questions – can you imagine a greater usurpation? How much he takes away from her with this intrusion into that inner movement of the spirit! I am going to say something about religion. Am I allowed to say something like that? Every religion is a similar intrusion into the divine movement. Each one.
Meditation
Let us imagine someone from whom we expected help and in whom we placed our trust. What was happening in our soul at that moment? And what was happening in our body? Did we become stronger or weaker? Were we calm and centred or did we become nervous? Were we still on earth or had we lost our connection with it? Were we again like children or were we in the fullness of our adult strength? Did we have the courage to turn away from our desires and expectations? What fears suddenly arose in us? Were we afraid of death?
And then inwardly we considered, which road leads to death? And away from life was that the road we wanted to take? Or another that requires all our strength? Which road do I stay on? And on which road are we powerless and small?
I will give you an example to make you feel it more. I will give the example of a mother who is expecting a baby. How does she achieve the connection with the child inside her when she is in tune with that child? Through assenting to all that awaits her as she is in her pregnancy and especially during birth. How does this connection become lasting? When you go deeper and accept your limits.
Now we can apply it to ourselves and imagine that we treat our life with care. When will we be in tune? At full risk? And when is this connection broken?
(To the audience) How do you feel about this? Do you notice this inner shift that is demanded of us here? Let’s apply it now to family constellations. When someone says: do a constellation for me, where does he stand? Where is his strength? And what about the one who leads the constellation?
I will give concrete examples.
Sophie and I had a course in Rome. There was a woman there who had two children who were born by caesarean section. She herself came into this world by caesarean section. We had a constellation. Sophie embraced that woman to help her experience her own birth. That often happens in family constellations. Those who know family constellations know that. I do it, Sophie does it, the others do it too if they have the strength for it. Then we interrupt it and come back to it later.
What happened there? The child who was born by caesarean section and his mother. What a loss that was in many ways! We experienced it on many levels together with the participants. And then we presented it on the DVD: ‘Trauma by caesarean section. Outcomes and solutions’.
We then learnt a lot of things. For example in Florida no child is allowed to be born naturally. Only by caesarean section. Women who want to do it another way have to leave the state. Behind this lies the doctors’ fear of being sued in court if something goes wrong during childbirth. This does not happen with caesarean section.
In another course a woman said: I would never do a prenatal test (it is a kind of test to find out if the child is going to have a disability…) I assent to this child as he/she is. Some constellations are a bit like a prenatal test. Or when people don’t look their destiny in the eye and the constellation reminds of a caesarean section.
Are you realising that it is time to face reality? And to take another path?
And now we pause for half an hour.
I’ll go on. Do you have any questions?
(A woman stands up) Hellinger: Think carefully about your question because my answer must be deserved. I don’t give answers to questions that lead nowhere. A sentence is enough to ask the question. (The same woman wants to take the microphone, Hellinger doesn’t let her).
Hellinger: I will take control (smiles).
Woman: Did I understand correctly what you said about the caesarean section that I have to give up having my family constellation?
Hellinger: My question is, do I have to answer or did she give herself the answer?
Woman: I am not sure.
Hellinger: It is clear that you already know and it is not allowed to say anything more about this. Ok. It was an important question. Thanks to her we have learned. Thank you.
(To the audience) Patients like this are good for psychotherapists. Psychologists make a lot of money because of them. Does anybody else want to ask? (Laughs).
Another woman: What was dangerous in the previous family constellations?
Hellinger: Usurpation. OK.